What I Know About Love

Not a lot. But since I am a college graduate and a published Sexpert, I probably know more about relationships than you. Okay, kidding. But here are some of my observations.

1. Be an emotional risk-taker.
  If you have a crush on someone, just go for it. If you get rejected, you can spend that brain space on someone else, then go for it, get rejected, etc. If you're not constantly in a state of semi-heartbreak, you're not living life to the fullest.

2. Don't underestimate the power of physical and mental states on relationships.
  If you're dating an alcoholic, it's going to affect your relationship. Someone who is sick will probably not be able to give as much to you as you need out of them. Let it go. Forgive them. See no. 3.

3. Timing is everything.
  If you fall in love with someone while they're getting over a previous relationship, they will not be capable of loving you in the same way. They might think they are, but they're not. Move on. Wait. But move on first.
  You can love someone in many different ways, and they can love you back, but it won't work if the timing is off. It's okay. Carry the knowledge that you are loved with you as you find people who are where you are physically and emotionally when you are there.

4. Have Hoes in Different Area Codes
  Just kidding. But kind of. Having pen pals you'd love to date if you lived in the same place can carry you through the times where your town and its romantic prospects are getting you down.

5. "You are so attractive."
  Remember when I was talking about being an emotional risk-taker? I am an emotional risk-taker, and I've found that this phrase is the lowest risk, highest reward way to express interest in someone.

Case A:
Janney: Taylor Swift! It's good to see you! *hugs* You are sooo attractive!
Taylor Swift: Shut up! Youuu are sooo attractive! Do you want to go "listen" to "records"?

See? Both of us feel good and had a great time "listening" to "records." ;)

Case B:
Janney: Tea Leaf Green's Trevor Garrod! You are sooo attractive!
TLG's Trevor Garrod: Oh wow, thanks! Beautiful women tell me that all the time. I'm gonna go smoke some weed now byeeee.

In this case, Trevor Garrod feels good, and even though I was rejected, he implied that I am a beautiful woman. Plus, I didn't want to smoke weed, I wanted to make out. Even if this line isn't received in the best possible way, everyone still wins.

But I've never had telling someone that they were attractive not work out the way it worked out in Case A.

6. Never assume that you can understand someone else's relationship.
  I always say that the less I know about other peoples' relationships the better. Not every relationship involves monogamy in the traditional sense of the word, and that's not always a bad thing. Passing judgement on the relationships of others is not only cruel, but a huge waste of your time. Mind your own relationships, and stay out of those of others.
  The only exception to this rule is if the relationship is physically or emotionally abusive. In that case, stand by your friend.

7. It is easy to fall in love.
  I probably fall in love with someone once or twice a month. That's because it's the easiest thing to do in the world. Much harder is maintaining a real relationship with a person you've idolized. So keep your head, protect your heart, but not too much. Because it's the emotional risks that lead to the best stories, the best learning experiences, and the most happiness.