More like New Year's Revolutions, amirite?

Happy New Year! As many of my faithful readers may (or may not) know, I am currently in Italy. I will blog about that in a few days, but right now I'd like to take a moment to address the subject of New Year's Resolutions.

I naturally tend to be a perfectionist when it comes to myself. With every new year, I make a list of things that I imagine will contribute to the perfect Janney. Be nicer to your family. Exercise every day. Stop cursing. Eat less peanut butter. Floss your teeth. While these are all laudable goals, for me, new year's resolutions tend to send me into a self-absorbed spiral. I become focused on obtaining the attainable perfect, and not on living the way I want to live. And while I pretend to myself that I will be happy when things are perfect, I'm actually the happiest when I'm half-assing. I like the semi-sloppy, the clean stovetop juxtaposed with the sink full of dishes. I don't care if the quilt I'm making is imperfect, I'm just happy that all of the colors go together. I like my body best when there are jiggly parts but I can still feel the strength of my legs when I walk and run. I like being able to curse like a sailor when I need to, and being able to turn it off in the workplace.

So I'm not going to make any self-improvement related resolutions this year. I just graduated from college and there are a whole slew of things about myself that I could try to fix. Instead, I'm going to give myself a little bit of a break. My resolution this year is to listen to my craziest instincts more. I'm already good at trusting my instincts when it comes to things like personal safety or standardized testing, but not so good at trusting my instincts in the grand scheme of things. I'm going to let myself do a little visioning for my future that doesn't include the endgame of job-house-husband-kids(?), and trust that by following some of my wackier instincts, I will arrive at the same place, but through a much different route.

Whatever your new year's resolution, I hope that 2013 will be filled with love, learning, and happiness. Oh, and please recycle/car pool/conserve water-energy-everything, because I am a little worried that there might not be a 2014 if we continue on our current path of environmental destruction. I mean I know I just traveled by jet halfway across the world, but I'm going to try and treat Mother Earth a little more kindly this year. I just really want my theoretical future children (probs adopted, because you know, Overpopulation) to be able to swim in the creek, enjoy snow days in the winter, cool summer evenings and marvel at the amazing creatures on our planet, and not be forced to stay inside because they're asthmatic and have 3 eyes and are allergic to everything.