I've been here for about a month, and a recap of everything I've been into would be time consuming, incriminating, and frankly, kind of boring. So I'll just make a few key points and not even attempt to play catch up.
1. I have friends! The first time I was here, there really weren't that many people for me to hang out with, and I honestly needed to spend that month learning about myself by myself free of social distractions.
But friends are nice. My housemates, my co-workers, people I've met at Summit City, people who come into town for events. And while the amount of sleep I've gotten here is inversely proportionate to the amount of friends I have here, I wouldn't trade it for anything.
2. Many of my friends are 4-8 years older than me. Many of them haven't taken the college-grad school-career-family route that I sometimes feel is expected of someone like me. They've been in and out of jobs and school. And they're doing fine. You don't have to finish college in four years then jump straight to grad school to be a successful, interesting person.
3. Which brings me to the biggest thing I've been thinking about. I'm not sure if Oberlin is right for me anymore. While I think it was wonderful for me my freshman year, I've started to feel lately like it's closing in around me and trapping me in a path of low self-confidence, high stress, and frustration with the people around me. This is a bit melodramatic, but the way I feel when I am at Oberlin and the way I feel when I am in the "real world" are so drastically different that I'm starting to wonder if Oberlin is still right for me.
This is not to say that I don't think that Oberlin is a good school, or that the people there are bad people. My friends at Oberlin have been nothing short of amazing. But I'm just not feeling it anymore.
4. And that's okay. Because I feel like it's more important for me to take my time finishing school and maybe get some experience doing minimum wage jobs living in a strange town, or traveling and exploring than for me to continue at Oberlin feeling lukewarm about the things that I am doing. I don't really believe that college will be the best time of my life, but I also want to be in a state of mind where I feel like I can take advantage of the opportunities I want to take advantage of and enjoy learning, and I'm not really sure if I'm there anymore.
5. I didn't intend for this to be a complain about Oberlin post. Complaint department closed.
6. While in Whitesburg, I have...
Helped build a stage with wood and nails and power tools
Hauled hay, chairs, tables, people
Used my Research Methods in Psychology knowledge to help write a survey
Learned to two-step
Realized that I have a really good work ethic. When did that happen?
Spent a ridiculous amount of time in a bar
Spent more time relaxing and just doing nothing than I have in the past four years. Seriously.
Gotten what I wanted more than I deserved.
Done so much radio.
Renovated a website.
Learned to navigate Adobe Audition.
Helped a friend move.
Gotten attacked by a Maine Coon cat.
Lifted things I didn't think I could lift, gone on hikes I didn't think I could finish.
E-mailed a community radio station in Southern India.
Told other people what to do, and had them actually do it.
Travelled to Lexington.
Schmoozed.
Started running again.
Found $50.
And so much more. I am in my element here. I'm having new experiences, learning new things, and living. And even though life will be uncertain, when I am doing my own thing and living on my own, I feel that I am fully capable of handling the uncertainties.
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