Dispatches from the Juicer: Day 1

I am going on a 3 day juice cleanse with my roommate and my boss.
Here is the evidence.

Day 1: 7:30 am
Holy shit why am I waking up this early it's a Sunday it's the flipping day of rest what was I thinking?

7:42 am
Yay I'm awake this is awesome let's walk to get our juice!

7:44 am
Roommate reminds me that we'll be coming back with lots of juice, and suggests we drive. Reluctantly, I put my bag down and get my car keys.

8:00 am
Yay breakfast juice yayayayay! Beets mangos limes apples yum yum yum!

8:10 am
Holy crap this is creating a lot of dishes for us to wash.

8:12 am
I'll save this juice for later.

8:25 am
Why are we still cleaning up? At least I have lots of juice left.

8:55 am
Driving in my car, feeling a little out of it. Write a song in my head where the lyrics are "Feel like I'm high, high on you"

8:57 am
Back home with a belly full of juice! Nap time!

9:05 am
I am so hungry. I can't remember what song I was trying to write earlier.

9:14 am
Screw napping! I'm gonna attend my online class! My stomach hurts

9:45 am
Ugh online class is really boring. If I get one thing out of this juice cleanse, it's the acceptance that I should never take another class online again. The whole online education movement is dumb.

10:00 am
Time for carrot juice! Yayayay yumyumyum!

10:12 am
I feel amazing! This rules! I've already planned my radio show and I'm almost done with this book. Heck yes. Heck yes!

11:42 am
Off to do my radio show! Yayay! Delicious salad juice in 15 minutes!

12:00 pm
Yum yum yum yum yum!!!!!!

12:34 pm
Does my show make any sense today? Am I making any sense?

12:44 pm
Wow 45s sound really bad on the 33 speed. Oopsies, gonna blame the juice cleanse!

1:04 pm
This is great! I'm so pumped! Look at all this new music I'm putting on my computer! New juice in an hour woohoo!

1:45 pm
I hope this juice isn't really weird.

2:00 pm
Boss is hinting that she might not be able to do the entire juice cleanse for 3 days. I am winning. I feel awesome!

2:08 pm
Begin to suspect that boss is bluffing. Geez this wilted kale salad I'm making looks really good. Maybe if I ate some raw food it would be fine?

2:15 pm
Eh, no one else wants to cave. Okay then.

2:30 pm
This is the messiest diet ever. I'm tired of washing strainers.

2:46 pm
Why am I still here? Let me go home with my dinner juice!

2:47 pm
Waddya mean, the juice in this glass jar is the last one for the day?

2:48 pm
Unlimited herbal tea? OH THAT'S AN AWESOME CONSOLATION FOR GOING OVER A WEEK WITHOUT COFFEE!

3:00 pm
I can do this I can do this I can do this.

3:12 pm
Oh! Friends on the porch! I'll stop in and say hi for a sec.

3:40 pm
Friends in the sunshine. Everything is great. Life is beautiful. What juice cleanse? This must be the feeling of calm and energy I hoped for!

3:50 pm
Back at home, roommate mentions thinking she is sleepy just because she has a good excuse to be sleepy. I am not sleepy! Woohoo! Internet!!!

4:15 pm
My urine looks pinkish? NBD it's probably just my stomach dissolving from not eating solid food!

4:20 pm
Stop being a baby. You're fine. You get more juice at 6. Unlimited tea, remember?

4:56 pm
Oh yeah, I put on some water to boil awhile ago. Tea time! And only 1 more hour until dinner juice! Yayayay yumyumyumyum!