True Blood from the Small Town Perspective

Okay, so I'll be the first to admit that a TV show is a pathetic subject for a blog post. But I've just finished watching the first season of True Blood. For those of you who aren't familiar with the show, True Blood is set in a small town in Lousiana. Scientists recently developed synthetic blood so vampires no longer need human blood to stay alive, and vampires have come out in the open in society, stuff goes down, there's lots of sex, and lots of blood. As dumb as it sounds, this show is definitely one of the most addicting I've watched since I finished Twin Peaks. And while I could pretend to be smart and say that the Vampire/Human conflict is an allegory for race issues or gay rights, I'm just going to comment on the things I see as someone who lives in a small town.

True Blood from the Small Town Perspective

1. If Bon Temps was really a small Southern town, I'm pretty sure there wouldn't be so many attractive, single young people there.

2. Merlotte's probably wouldn't be making as much money as it does. People would drink a lot, but they wouldn't buy food too. Plus, conservative religious people (Hello, Church of the Sun!) would probably get really pissed off about it.

3. Merlotte's wouldn't be able to have 3-4 attractive skinny young waitresses. It might have one or two, but one of the waitresses would probably be middle aged, or obese.

4. Come to think of it, there wouldn't be that many young people there period.

5. Speaking of period... uh never mind. But seriously, do the creators of vampire stories ever take menstruation into account? Details people.

6. Jason Stackhouse. Most realistic character (come on, how many of you southern/country folks don't know 2 or 3 Jason Stackhouses?). But please please please stop giving him stupid side plot lines. A V addict? Falls in love with a crazy hippie chick from the North (Okay, this one was a little more realistic)? Church of the Sun fanatic? Please give him a little more credit than that. One of these plot lines would be acceptable. But all three of these is overkill.

That's all for now, but I'm sure Season 2 will bring more commentary. And maybe some day I'll write another blog post that isn't about TV!