I'm Bad at Blogging, But Good at Enumeration

You know something I realized the other day (well actually this morning, when I realized that I hadn't updated my blog in 13 days)? I suck at blogging. I'm really bad at the whole consistently creating content deal. Of course, I write almost every single day. Even on the days when I haven't whittled away on the current things I'm working on, "Instant Relationships" - loosely based on the concept of instant fiction that my senior English teacher introduced to me, "Dreams" - which is mostly about Kevin Howard, not that I dream about Kevin Howard all the time or anything, or expect everyone of you to know who he is, and various and sundry pieces of songs, stories, and cheesy poetry, I at least crank out a thank you note, a letter, or a few e-mails.

I blame my failure to blog on 2 things: my lack of internet access at home, and my struggle with brevity.

So I'm sorry and I'll try to be better.

1. I did it, I went home when I was feeling homesick.

And it was pretty nice. Well worth the 5-6 hour drive for a big bed, a wood stove, full grown cats, the Marlinton Opera house, farmland, and the Pocahontas Times.

2. I came back to Whitesburg, which also felt pretty good. Because although it's frustrating to realize that I'll be doing this whole taking care of myself thing for the rest of my life, it's also good to have the reality check of a sink full of dishes, a poopy litter box, and dirty laundry. Responsibility is good, responsibility is good, responsibility is good. Or at least it builds character.

3. Work is interesting. Frustrating, sometimes boring, but interesting. I'm learning more than is good for my blood pressure about reproductive justice. This is the one issue that I actually get legitimately pissed off about, instead of just depressed. The amount of times I've had to leave the office after viewing a particularly infuriating film clip, or watch videos of kittens to relax myself after reading about the acts of some idiotic politician is almost comical. Because I don't usually get mad (unless it's at people I'm closely related to, which is a different story entirely, I think). And it's weird to feel anger.

4. I am excited to go back to college and have homework again! I am so so serious! I cannot wait to lock myself away in Mudd/my hopefully amazing housing situation, although probably not and study my little heiny off. I need to graduate ASAP so I can do the really cool things that are supposedly out there waiting for me to do.

But for now, soup beans!

Confessions, Part 1. (this is an Usher reference...)

I have a confession to make: I am homesick.

I want to go to Green Bank and walk through the fields and down by the creek. I want to take a book and a quilt with me into the barn and sit and read in the hay loft. I want to brush my scruffy horses. I want to sit on the porch.

I want to sleep in my big bed with my flannel sheets and sprawl out. I want to wake up and be warm. I want clean dishes and a microwave and to be able to take a shower and know I will have water.

I want to take Sadie to meet Bobs and Brickle and Marley and Sima. I want to go to the post office, walk at the NRAO, get coffee at the Dirtbean, and go to the used bookstore.

I want to see Annie and Staci and David and Andy and Seth and Katies F through T. I want to walk on the trail with Brenda, sit in the hot tub with Grant, and play music with Jake. I might even go to a high school football game.

These are totally first world problems. I'll be away from home and paying for my own heat and water and food for the rest of my life. I'll have to clean my own bathroom and wash my own dishes and sleep in skinny beds indefinitely. I can deal with it.

But I still miss Green Bank.

Thoughts on My Impending Milestone Birthday

As many of you may or may not know, I will be turning 21 on Wednesday. For folks who went to school with me, this isn't much of a newsflash, but I'm one of the youngest ones in my friend-group in Whitesburg (of course no one knows this, since they're all dazzled by my wit and maturity... psshh).

Here's what I've been thinking:

1. I'm ready to go back to Oberlin, learn, do homework, read, write, research, and graduate.

2. I'm not going to let the absurdity of the school get me down.

-I will be in a co-op exclusively to eat

-Oberlin has an old-time music ensemble. What the heck. And you know what, I'm not going to let my feelings get hurt when they don't beg me to be in it. I have more authenticity in my big toe than they do in their entire banjo-plucking bodies and I refuse to let them get me down (although the thought of it is getting me down already).

-If a student group I am involved in is making me feel insecure, I will do what I am best at

doing, and simply quit.

-I WILL DO MY HOMEWORK. I WILL NOT CHASE BOYS.

As you can see, Oberlin is creeping back in to my mind. I'm ready to take hard classes, spend my life in the library, eat weird hippie foods, go to awkward parties, and trudge to class through the frozen tundra. I'm not exactly thrilled at the prospect of two more years (or even just a year and a half) there, but it's what I need to do.

3. I need to find a work/life mentor.

The closest thing I have to a mentor right now are a number of people who I love dearly and have made mistakes that I have learned from. I also have a couple of role models who are 4-8 years older than me who I think are the coolest and I strive to emulate. But I really need one really powerful woman who is much older and has been successful in the way I view success. I also need to not be intimidated by this person, which is a huge limiting factor, as I am easily intimidated by awesome women.

4. My life has been pretty durn good so far.

I mean of course there have been ups and a ton of downs and periods when nothing was okay, but if I were to average the highs and the lows, you'd probably come out with a solid okay. And that solid okay translates into "pretty durn good" when you multiply it by all of the wonderful folks who have been a part of my life. I usually dislike it when people say "I've been blessed," but I have truly been blessed with wonderful friends and family throughout my life. I've known some of the most amazing people of all ages and I never cease to be amazed by the human race. Thanks for 21 wonderful years of friendship, love, and support.