If You Can Read This, You're Not Writing

I've been thinking a lot about what it means to be a writer lately. When I was in Berlin at the end of June, I was staying with my writer friend, and spending a lot of time with her and her writer ex-boyfriend. For them, the question was no longer "Do I want to attempt to support myself by writing?," but "What is the minimum number of hours I have to babysit so I can spend the rest of my life writing?" Naturally it was an incredibly inspiring environment. While I was in Berlin, I did things like wake up at 4 am to work on a story, journal about communism while riding the bus, and calculate the minimum number of hours I'd have to babysit to support myself as a writer.

Back in the States of course, reality set in. I'm not making my living as a writer and that goal feels very far away. I can barely commit to an outfit for an entire day, much less a career path that involves constant frustration and possibly having to move to New York.  But I come from stubborn people. So I'm not going to let the fact that I don't have an English degree or any idea how to actually use a semi-colon stop me.

A lot of people have a skewed perception of writing. The reality is though, if you think you want to write something, you should just do it.

Here are some things that some people think count as writing that actually don't.

1. Doing drugs because Hemingway/Sedaris/Dr. Suess (I'm just assuming) did it.
You are doing drugs. That's nice. Now write about it.

2. Having sex so they have something to write about.
Good for you! I wish I was having sex. Now write about how you felt afterward, what your characters would have done, how hot the room was, how you're pretty sure the character's roommates heard.

3. Reading
Reading is good. Really good. Now take what you were reading and write about it. Did the author say something that made you think? Did one of the characters remind you of a person you know? Was there a dead bug stuck between two of the pages? Write about those things.

Writing is like playing a musical instrument. If you want to get better than mediocre at it, you have to practice. If you don't have an idea or feel inspired, well tough shit. Write a letter to your grandma. Write a list of books you want to read, places you want to go. Edit a story you started two years ago about a Christmas Parade. String together words on your great American beach read. It doesn't have to be good, it just has to be.

While we're on the topic, it bothers me when someone says they can't write. Unless this person is genuinely illiterate or under the age of 7, this is like hearing a person who is physically able to move their body say that they can't dance. It's a weak excuse. If you don't want to write, say that. If you find it hard to focus while writing, it's okay. Everybody does. Just don't act like you physically can't write or that I have some sort of magical power because I can string words together and sometimes make people laugh or think.

I'm not good at writing because I was born knowing how to do it. I wasn't even one of those weird kids who could read when they were 4 or anything. I'm good at writing because when I was in 4th grade I filled cow spot notebooks with the beginnings of stories about Harry Potter and princesses and girls who were 14 and went on trips and kissed cute boys (maybe loosely inspired by Mary Kate & Ashley movies). I took 2 English classes in my senior year of high school, while ill-advisedly applying to 11 colleges, keeping two journals, and working as a sports writer for the Pocahontas Times. I wrote shitty poetry in my freshman year of college, and perfected my ability to create good Facebook statuses before starting this blog. In the past year I've finally gotten to the point where I can honestly say I write almost every day.

So that's why I'm good at writing. And the only way I'll continue to get better is to let myself behave a little like a crazy person. I need to leave friends' houses in the middle of the night because I just. need. to. write., to go running while thinking of the characters in my great American beach read, to volunteer to write glossaries of computer science terms, to spend 2 hours writing about birth control and carry around a purse big enough to hold my notebook.

You don't really need to know much about anything to write, but you do need to know how to swallow your pride, take emotional risks, learn from every situation and get things done. You have to learn to be okay with not hearing back from editors, with spending hours writing about ceiling fans or Microsoft Excel, and getting hand cramps and carpal tunnel. Because all of those things mean that at least you are writing. And if writing is truly what you want to do, then you will find a way to do it.